Happy New Year!

Ummm, well, does Bah, Humbug! apply to New Year's as well as Christmas?

I have a hard time with Christmas. It has historically been a less than happy season for our family. I was getting sick of customers asking if I was done with my Christmas shopping. No. Hadn't started yet. With my husband unemployed, I was busy with the mundane stresses of trying to make sure the bills got paid, and some of them didn't get paid when I would have liked. We were already concerned with what December's electric bill was going to look like. The weather was extra cold, the firewood wasn't burning hot enough and/or our woodstove isn't big enough, so we used the milkhouse heater. I did not blurt out that, from where I stand, just getting the current round of bills paid sounded pretty good.

And shopping? In the first place, shopping isn't usually something I do for fun. Holiday crowds are a huge turn-off. People get so wrapped up in accomplishing their lists that it's a wonder there aren't more wrecks. They act like they're the only ones on the road or in the parking lot. And I don't shop in the usual places. I may go to Joann or Walmart or Shopko if I want/need something specific, but for just looking, I hit the thrift stores. They're the only places I can afford to be slightly self indulgent. They also have things I wouldn't find in standard retail stores, or those things cost a fraction of new prices.

I'm sick. I was sick before Christmas, and I still am. My eyes burn, and my nose is either stuffed up or won't stop running, or I'm sneezing - or all at the same time, and my hands hurt. I want nothing more than to sleep at night, but do you think I can do that? Last night I lay in bed for 2 hours, being discontent, mad at, or scared of an entire assortment of things that may or may not be 'real'. Even the ones I can or must do something about weren't going to happen at midnight. This cold will not go away. I feel better than I did Friday, and Saturday, and Sunday, and I still feel perfectly awful.

On top of that, my equilibrium is messed up, so I'm staggering and falling. I fell into a laundry basket, sat on the poinsettia my boss gave me for Christmas, crumpled the top of the laundry detergent container, pulled over the coffee/espresso maker we got Ben for Christmas, breaking the carafe, and bumped open the back door all at once. There are no steps outside that door, so the last thing I wanted to do was fall out. It's 3 feet to the ground, and I would have landed badly. I managed to grab the sides of the door frame and have Ben come help me up. He was worried about my shoulder being hurt. It's fine; the only thing really hurt is the new coffee machine. And DH used a plastic colander as a steamer inside a pan on top of the stove. It melted. Imagine that! Part of me would like to sarcastically ask him what he expected.

It's gray, and raining, and I hate rain. Spent 40 years where winter weather is rain and sometimes floods, and it seems to go on forever. It may sound odd, but I honestly prefer snow. Except that right now the snow's melted into slush, which turns into ice overnight, which makes footing and driving slippery. I started off this morning being discontent, fed up with, mad at, or scared of anything, nothing, and pretty much everything in between; and completely unwilling to deal with people. Since my job is dealing with people, and more often than not trouble-shooting, I really don't have the option of taking time off from dealing with people and still get paid. I don't get paid if I'm not working, so guess what else? I'm sick and working.

The carafe and colander can both be replaced. I just have to make the time to look for them and set aside the money. The poinsettia can be trimmed or something. It's not dead. I didn't get hurt. There's more money in the bank account than I was afraid of in the middle of the night. The electric bill IS nearly $30 more than usual - OUCH - but if I pay some this paycheck and some next paycheck, I'll get it paid. Our chickens have finally started laying. DH is back to work, for now. It was unexpected, and nobody knows how long that will last, so I just won't borrow trouble.

I was reading something in a yahoo group posted by a woman in Australia. She's picking raspberries and tomatoes, and canning, and.... I think I'll go to Australia -just for a little while. Something along the lines of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No good, Rotten Day.